The Life Board
The conversations I have within friendship, family or professional relationships; if I put them through the lens of a Life Board, they take on a different significance.
Last week, while discussing a new business idea with a friend, I had a thought that stopped me mid-conversation.
My friend was asking questions.
Not the polite kind of questions that confirm what I had already decided.
The good questions.
The ones that made me pause, challenge my assumptions and force me to think more deeply about what I’m trying to achieve and why.
As I listened, I realised something.
This friend, someone I have known for decades, is a member of my Life Board.
It was a strange and wonderful moment.
I spend much of my professional life working with boards and advisory groups. I help organisations create structures that support better thinking, better decisions and better outcomes. I understand the value of independent perspectives, non judgement, curiosity and constructive challenges.
Yet it had never occurred to me that I had built something similar in my own life outside of work.
A Life Board.
Not a formal group.
Not something that meets quarterly or has a for-purpose charter.
But a collection of people who have been part of my journey at different times and in different ways.
People who have seen the successes, failures, mistakes, reinventions and growth.
People who know who I was, who I am, and often have a unique perspective on who I might become.
When I thought about it more, I realised how important these people have been and are.
They are the ones who ask the difficult questions when I’m excited about a new idea.
They are the ones who remind me what matters when I become distracted.
They are the ones who challenge me when I’m limiting myself.
They are the ones who encourage me when I’m questioning whether I can do something.
Most importantly, they do all of this without judgement.
They don’t need to agree with every decision.
They don’t need to approve every idea and path.
But they really want to see me succeed and importantly to be happy.
In governance, we often talk about the value of advisory boards.
An effective advisory board doesn’t exist to make decisions on behalf of an organisation. It exists to strengthen the quality of thinking and support the decision making process.
The best advisory boards don’t tell leaders what they want to hear.
They challenge assumptions.
Offer different perspectives.
Ask better questions.
Create space for possibilities that might otherwise remain unexplored.
A good Life Board does exactly the same thing.
The members of your Life Board are not there to direct your life.
They are there to help you see it more clearly.
That distinction is so important.
Because there is a difference between support and agreement.
Many of us surround ourselves with people who support us.
Fewer of us surround ourselves with people who support us enough to challenge us.
The people who belong on a Life Board are rarely “yes” people.
They are people who can disagree without withdrawing their care.
People who can question without diminishing your confidence.
People who can hold space for possibility while also helping you stay grounded.
That kind of relationship is incredibly valuable.
It is also worth recognising that, just like an advisory board, membership may change over time.
Some people join us for a moment and some remain for decades.
Some play a critical role during a particular chapter of life and then step back.
Others unexpectedly become some of our most trusted advisors.
The structure evolves because we evolve.
The important thing is not how many people sit on your Life Board.
It is the quality of the conversations they bring.
As I continued to reflect on this idea, another thought emerged.
If I have a Life Board, then it stands to reason that I am also sitting on other people’s Life Boards.
That was a huge realisation.
There are people in my life who call when they are considering a career change.
People who share a new business idea before it exists anywhere else.
People who are navigating difficult decisions, personal challenges or significant transitions.
People who ask, “What do you think?”
I have always viewed those conversations as part of friendship, family or professional relationships.
But through the lens of a Life Board, they take on a different significance.
Because the contribution is not in having the answers.
It is in creating the conditions for better thinking.
It is asking questions rather than giving instructions.
Offering perspective without taking ownership.
Providing challenge without judgement.
Supporting possibility without imposing your own agenda.
In many ways, it is the same role I see great advisors play.
The objective is not to direct someone else’s life.
The objective is to help them see more clearly so they can make decisions that are right for them.
That realisation has made me think more carefully about how I show up in those conversations.
Am I listening well enough?
Am I asking questions that help someone explore rather than defend?
Am I creating space for their potential, or unconsciously narrowing it through my own experiences and assumptions?
Am I helping them move towards who they want to become?
Because if I am fortunate enough to hold a seat on someone’s Life Board, that seat comes with responsibility.
Not responsibility for their decisions.
But responsibility for the quality of my contribution.
The best Life Board members don’t tell people what to do.
They help people discover what they already know.
As I continue to think about this idea, I’ve started wondering whether we should all spend a little more time considering our Life Boards.
Who are the people who challenge your thinking?
Who are the people who genuinely want to see you grow?
Who are the people who encourage exploration rather than limitation?
Who helps you become more of who you are capable of being?
Then there is another important question. On whose Life Board do you sit?
And if you do, how are you showing up?
Because somewhere in your circle there may be someone who trusts your perspective, values your questions and benefits from your encouragement more than you realise.
We all have people who help shape our thinking.
We also have opportunities to shape the thinking of others.
The privilege is not simply having a Life Board.
The privilege is being invited to sit on one.
I suspect most of us already have both.
We just haven’t called them that.
Until now!!!
Such a great idea - A Life Board!!